Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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