The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
