you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
