i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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