dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
