i just google imaged poop.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
