There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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