Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
