i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize