you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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