a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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