you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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