I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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