I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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