Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
