I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
