VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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