i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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