My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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