so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
