Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Non-Jews are for practice
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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