my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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