I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
