1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
