how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The best revenge is premature balding
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
