She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
