i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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