He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
