a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
