The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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