Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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