you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
