My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
