Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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