Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
