Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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