shes about as inviting as chlamydia
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
