my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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