in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
