i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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