If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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