I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
where am i from again
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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