I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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