My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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