I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
