I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
