VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
