I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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