im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
one might say we're banned from that church
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
