Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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