So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
