New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
