Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize