good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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