never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
