I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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