hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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