Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
