Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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