I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
