I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
