glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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