I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
