I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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