My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
pray to the hookup gods
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
