East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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