So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
